here instead of there

I want to move more slowly. Even typing. I just reminded myself to slow down. What’s the rush? What will happen when I get to wherever “there” is? I don’t need to rush to get anywhere. “Slow down!” I remind myself. “Go get quiet”, instead. Busy yourself with the actual practice of doing nothing, and while you’re there, bask in it; rest on it like a fluffy down pillow.

Feel nothing. Hear nothing. Be nothing.

If there’s anything to be, it’s being nothing most beautifully. Not in the “I am nothing” loop kind of way; that’s different. It’s the being in nothing. It’s almost like forgetting you are alive for a moment, in a way that makes you feel more alive than ever. Let the matrix pause around you so all you’re left with is breath and the knowing you are here.

That’s how I was left feeling after yoga this past week. I could hear nothing in my mind. My heart was quiet, and I sat still in the bliss — ooph, I savoured the bliss — sitting there while I could feel others rushing out of the room. There, I was lovingly reminded of the nourishment that follows my practice — a nourishment that breeds gratitude, calm, and softness — a nourishment that reminds me to listen to myself when I ask to slow down.

That ruminating mind, often with defensive tendencies, takes over because the sensation of anxiety and go, go, go is too much to feel, so my mind thinks it’s protecting me, but really, it’s the exact opposite. It’s causing more tension between the desire to be “there” and the desire to be “here”.

Try to listen so you hear nothing. Try to stop needing to get “there” and ask yourself to slow down to be “here.”

Exercise on noticing you may need to slow down:

Lovingly catch yourself when you’re trying to get out of the shower, get dressed, brush your teeth, do the dishes, and/or put your shoes on to leave your house. Notice the intensity of the sensation of go go go, and ask yourself to slow down or take a breath.

Let me know what it’s like to go from needing to be “there” to staying “here”.